It is the end of an era here at Swatchity. Friday morning, CEO Dan Xybert gathered the one remaining employee into the company's main conference room to explain that, after many hours of introspection, he has decided to sell Swatchity back to FlurbCo.

"I am not abandoning you," he explained. "My commitment to this brand and the amazing people (person) who work here is unwavering. I will stand by Swatchity and its users until my last breath. You can rely on that. That said, I thought running this company would be fun, and it's not fun anymore. So, bye."

Xybert then slowly marched out of the conference room to the sound of "It's So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday" by Boyz II Men, waving at invisible throngs of employees. Pointing at the one flesh-and-blood employee in the room, he gushed, "I'll miss you most of all, whatever your name is!"

As senior FlurbCo Senior VP Grant Broheim described it, the deal happened relatively quickly. "We saw that Xybert was struggling, so we swooped in and picked up the company on a fire sale bargain. I know it sounds a bit ghoulish, but what can I say? We swoop. Swooping is kind of our thing."

While the details of the purchase are still hazy, the big picture that emerges is not pretty. Xybert insists that his many business books are still well regarded and available for purchase and that he is still a master deal-maker, even though he bought the company for over 125 billion USD and sold it back a few months later for $45 in Pottery Barn coupons.

"I drove a hard bargain," bragged Xybert. "Some of those coupons are out of date, so they're collectable."

For the record, Xybert wanted to make it clear to his online critics that he did not, as some have stated, get "taken to the cleners." He can drive himself to the dry cleaners, thank you very much. He doesn't need someone to take him there.

What this means for Swatchity and its users is still unclear. Xybert seemed convinced that the new owners would continue fulfilling his vision for the site, though he could not articulate what that vision was. Moreover, in spite of their eagerness to repurchase the struggling site, Broheim still doesn't know exactly what Swatchity is or does.

"It's a dating site, right?" asserted Broheim. No, of course it isn't. Is it?"